THE LEARNING OF LOVE

THE LEARNING OF LOVE

Love lives- continually  gives ~ LOVE NEVER FAILS

 Love never leaves & never deceives.

Love always remembers , Love sometimes grieves

Love establishes, Love includes, Love understands, Love honors, Love forgives, Love waits…

There are secret  things with Love-mysteries, moments, memories

The secret  things belong to One higher, sovereign, & wiser

But the things that inspire LOVE & the things that are revealed about LOVE;

Belong to us- to our sons & daughters, to our siblings & grandparents, family & friends

~THE THINGS REVEALED ABOUT LOVE BELONG TO US~

That we may observe, honor, & remember

ALWAYS & FOREVER

Pamela Hagens

2/26/2017

Heart Condition

Yesterday’s mistakes will be future learning. ~Today’s experiences will be tomorrow’s memories.   ~Tomorrow’s beginning will require today’s rest.    ~A season of regrets can ignite the moment of change.   ~The opportunity to love can be a treasured choice.   ~The decision to forgive will impact how you live.   ~The act of forgiveness is a gift to the spirit. ~The willingness to take a chance can be the adventure that jumpstarts the heart.   ~The pain of loss can give way to greater compassion.

SO~ J ~ WE LIVE ON PURPOSE,  WE SHARE LIFE with others,  WE FORGIVE and try to forget,  WE HAVE HOPE for tomorrow   WE LOVE ON PURPOSE.

Pamela Hagens

Winter
There's something about the still of a cold, winter  night. The heart takes notice of God's creation with  a sense of awe and reverence. Something about our earthly January calendar- when winter's grab can still us, grip us, embrace us. We find it easy to strike up idle conversations, help a stranded  stranger, pause and take notice of what is frigid and beautiful.  When our surroundings are covered in a wool blanket- we too tend to cuddle and settle into the warmth and wonder of the moment; we are forced to slow down, we can be tempted  to complain, but yet there is a kindness that is awakened in our spirit. There is a concern for the homeless, a tenderness for the unknown heart waiting by the side swiped car; there is a gentle hope that we all arrive to that place of safety, to that loved one who is waiting, the warm welcome at the close of day. That first winter storm can change our course, force  a different pace, cause one to  appreciate what is often overlooked, reach out, remember and reflect on those we hold dear,  smile at a child's wobbly snowman-- We must  surrender to what we can not control--nature has stood tall, and we must respect her presence- His power.

Unexpected Filling

There are seasons in life- sometimes very long seasons, that we don't always understand. We are walking but so unaware of the direction-the purpose. Emptiness & loneliness can grip us in these seasons. The heaviness resembles that of an icy capote covering winter's, sleepy branches. The heaviness- noticeable, transparent, hard, sharp- unrelenting ice cycles freezing our spirit.  During these seasons- moments; we may feel useless, fragile, forgotten, unworthy, frozen in time.  The questions come, the doubt kicks in, fear invades, hopelessness looms.  WITH ALL THE STRENGTH WE CAN MUSTER; WE MUST REMIND OURSELVES that WE ARE NEVER WALKING ALONE. There may be parts of the road that the sole of our shoes touch-a personal imprint formed; where pain is felt at the deepest level of  the soul and spirit, but WE ARE NEVER ON THE JOURNEY ALONE.  This imprint often changes us, challenges us, frustrates & overwhelms us, depletes us, baffles us...; but it can sometimes unite us. We can find strength in a stranger, laughter in a child-who can help us smile, we can find someone on the road that we link arms with- and STAND. As we watch and listen-  we can find unexpected renewal. As we watch and listen-  LOVE accompanies us on the journey.  LOVE (in many forms, many faces & resources) gently, tenderly helps refill our reservoir of hope, trust, mental & emotional fortitude.  In time, we began to feel less fragile, more steady, surprisingly calm-REPLENSHED.
In that replenshment and after respite; we are inclined to look for others in those hard places-dark places,  and we shine a light of possibility.
We've walked through the unimaginable, and WE ARE STILL STANDING.
WE REMEMBER, WE HONOR, WE LOVE, WE HELP,  WE STAND.

~Pamela Hagens

Afternoon Rest

A few days back, I had the pleasure of taking in a few minutes of the Fall season. The colors were spectacular, the breeze steady and refreshing, and the companionship memorable.  I was in the company of two very special young ladies-one German, one Norwegian. Their combined wisdom totaled 198 years. The moments with these two beautiful Jewels were Kodak scrap book memories for the heart and the spirit.  The 95 year young gem- in a delicate cream blouse, pink dress slacks with pink nail polish, and a touch of make up- was gentle and sweet;  the 103 year young gem- in a casual blue pastel shirt,  blue jeans with plain nails, and without make up- was calm and tender. These distinguished  ladies with a different attire for the afternoon, different life experiences, different backgrounds  sat comfortably  with one another - I embraced the wonder of their company. I marveled at the bigness of their life. I could feel their love, see their perseverance, hear a splash of their experiences and challenges, and observe the wisdom of time etched on their face. We talked a little, but mainly sat quietly enjoying the ease of our time together. These two gracious ladies were glad to share my company and did not want to occupy to much of my day. I tried to share in an indirect way that there was no other place at that moment that I wanted to be, and that they were sharing with me- the best part of my day. We did not solve any world problems, did not talk of how things were long ago, nor mentioned how things looked at this time period; we simply drank in the sweet flavor of the moment for our tender hearts. We took a snapshot together- I in the middle- this energetic, African American, female half their age; and yet we blended beautifully. I realized that under the big blue, with a continuous breeze, picturesque backdrop of Fall in it's fullness; there was something really special happening. They welcomed the visit, enjoyed the company, and I felt content. It seemed at that moment; we all felt loved, safe, understood, accepted, encouraged, and blessed. I will open that scrapbook when I feel out of step, out of place, and overwhelmed with the moments of life. LORD, help me to remember your kisses of refreshing.

Weee Morn Moment

My heart focused on a Sunday God Kiss- A verse in a song:
 'WHEN THE NIGHT IS HOLDING ON TO ME, GOD IS HOLDING ME THROUGH THE NIGHT'.
We don't get to choose the degree of our night-when it will come, how long it will last, nor how often it visits; But we have A NIGHT WATCHMAN that gives just enough light, comfort, relief, tenderness... until the break of dawn comes.  And we trust/rely on Him a little more in each dark period.
My heart visit these words: Revelations 21:4 "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes: and there will no longer be any death: there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away."
Revelations 22:5 And there will no longer be any night; and they will not have need of the light of a lamp nor the light of the sun, because THE LORD GOD will illumine them; and they will reign forever and ever.
~The God Kiss was sweet,gentle~

Still Learning, Still Growing

Still Learning, Still Training, Still Growing
I wanted to pen a recent 8 mile training run. Maybe just express some road lessons, life helps, spiritual undertones.
For starters, an 8 mile early Saturday outing may not be your cup of tea, may be a bit much for some, and for other road running warriors-it is a sneeze; But when you're out there just trying to be consistent-IT'S SIGNIFICANT!
On those early mornings when the legs are still wishing to rest, the training groups typically meet up at a designated place for sign in, course direction(maps of the running course), & to find a group to pace you for the big day.  I've learned to grab the course map just in case- I've misread the route a few times & I've also arrived  late; both experiences have lead to my running more than scheduled and running all by my lonesome.
LEARNING: Stay close to the others when you're not sure where you're going. Make sure you have
directions, arrive on time-things start whether you're there or not.
This morning I tucked the directions in my jacket pocket.  I had arrived as the last training group was being released.  I was okay--I had made it. I didn't connect with a group, so I planned to just run with groups randomly. I had passed a few, was behind many, but the sun was out and it felt good. Not far into the run, I missed a turn that was not clearly marked. Uugh, not again! One minute I could see folks out front, I had just passed some; but now I was alone. I crossed a street that we had already ran-
I kept running. Started heading toward an isolated area-still kept running. Feeling frustrated that once again I had missed a turn- I told myself I was okay. It's not easy trying to read and run.
I noticed someone in the distance-bright colored jacket--Aaww-it's all good. There's another runner, an approaching biker possibly, or a service worker waiting to begin their day. I couldn't make out the figure, but I heard a soft voice tell me to turn around--I kept running. I heard the voice louder now---"You've lost the group, and there's no one ahead but the person you see---TURN AROUND NOW"!
It was as if I saw the figure in the distance and he saw me. I DID WHAT THE VOICE SAID!
I don't know if I was in danger, but something did not feel right. I immediately did a U-TURN, and thanked The Voice for speaking clear, loud, & firm.
LEARNING: Be in tune with the caution signs (warning signs). If it doesn't feel safe--maybe it's not.
Watch what's  ahead of you.
I doubled back - catching up to groups that I had recently passed. I noticed it took a lot more effort to catch them than it did the first time. I huffed out that I had missed a turn--they encouraged me--"it happens."
LEARNING: Sometimes in life you may pass some folks--be respectful; they may be the expression of kindness when you get back on track.
A little further into the run, I reached for the directions in my pocket---NOT THERE. Oh REALLY!
The little piece of paper had slipped out--I knew it was not deep enough, but I could retrieve it quickly in my outer jacket pocket.
LEARNING: Hide the Word deep, remember some of the turns before you get to them.
I was nearing the last 3 miles - I was not doing more than my 8 miles today.   Aahh,  a sigh of relief as I caught up to three runners.  SOOO glad to see them! They too, encouraged me as I passed by.
LEARNING: If you can't find a chord of three, that's not easily broken-find at least  find one.
There's direction, accountability, motivation, encouragement, companionship, & safety in the company of others.

I  coasted in the last mile,picked up the pace as I neared the end, & I reflected more as I regrouped;
-Traveling companions are important.  -Fellowship is refreshing-pleasant.    - Encouragement is vital at some point on the road.   -There are times that you will get off course, get turned around, get confused.   -Be open to the voice within you.
SPIRITUAL NUGGETS:
 -Training is necessary.   -You will make mistakes, Let others encourage you.
 -Don't forget to share encouragement on the journey.  -Be kind to those you pass.
 - Don't give up-the end is within reach.  -When you reach the finish line, take time to reflect on the process.
 -Real Life begins when we cross over---WHEN WE HEAR WELL DONE.
                                       

Morning Kiss
While out with a training group for an early morning run, I experienced this sweet encounter.
I got lost from the group about half way through the run and ended up going a little farther than I planned.As I was heading  back to home base,  I noticed a lady and her dog coming toward me crossing  a normally busy street, that was quiet at the time. She gently lead her canine companion as he very, very slowly  put one foot in front of the other. His head seem to be bent toward the ground. All I could say was- Lord bless him.  Me feeling tired and cold, I was just trying to make it back to my starting point. Exhausted, I asked his age as I approached them. We were all going slow enough for a quick verbal exchange.
 She said he was 16. Have you had him since birth I inquired - she
responded " I've had him the whole time." THERE WAS THAT MORNING KISS! Her response made me smile, keep the steady pace, dig into the last leg of  the run, tuck my head, and move a little easier  into the home stretch.
That experience stayed on my mind and in my spirit the rest of the evening ---As we get tired, hit the places in life where we can barely put one foot in front of the other, maybe ponder if we will make it, where every step takes so much effort and strength, for some who have traveled long--
maybe even  in the autumn  season of life;  GOD IS THERE  - leading, gently helping us-creating a path for us,  loving us, & reminding us--- THAT HE HAS HAD US THE WHOLE TIME.

Shattered Heart

When the heart is shattered and dreams halted, I am yet learning, there is only One who can gather the broken pieces while we try to understand the unbelievable. The Father is willing and able to gently & tenderly remind us that He Is real, He is present, & always persistent in His love for us.
When the heart is shattered, and the loss is more than the mind can understand; we can feel lost - feel that life will never be the same. Loss can be a tiring wilderness. The cloud of loneliness and the fire of grief  can deprive our spirit of oxygen; but in the wilderness we can discover a deeper sense of God's presence, an awareness of new relationships,  increased sensitivity to surroundings, people, & causes. TRUST. Trust through the night, trust through the mystery. Believe that you can be better-feel better. Hope that there will be Light.  Speak in the brokenness-by getting up, getting reconnected, getting tired of being tired, speak with your transparency, speak with your tears; with whatever ounce of strength you can muster SPEAK. In your brokenness SPEAK. The Creator takes the delicate broken pieces and designs a special crystal-an exquisite crystal that can show his grace, mercy, & beauty. From our brokenness  we can be shown how to love a new.  As we surrender, let go, give up ,ask for help-there is One who is waiting to extend His strength. He went toe to toe with death to secure our freedom, and  He will go toe to toe at our appointed time of struggle  to rescue us; To rescue us from loss- loss of a loved one, marriage, career, reputation, dreams... He will be our Victor if we allow Him.

2016!!
Expressions that I have heard in passing that help me see clearer: 'Time Marches On, Being In My Lane, Stretched Beyond Comfort, Wear Life Loosely, Weather Can Be Bitey-Good People Believable & Life-- Beautiful, Big Hearts Heal Deep Hurts, If You Can Get Past An Offense-There Is Always Something Special On The Other Side, Don't Be Afraid Of Detours, Sometimes Pain Positions Us For A Greater Plan, Pure Motives Propel A Prosperous Relationship, Failing Is Fruitful. There are more, but I will pause here.
In 2016, one acronym I will truly strive for is: LOP (LOVING ON PURPOSE).
For you I wish Hope, Health, & Him [John 3:16].

I have found Christmas season 2015, to be special.  I am grateful for God's wonderful Gift!
I am grateful for The Father's closeness, tenderness, provision, & His continued guidance
& comfort. I am blessed by sweet relationships, by the opportunity to reach out to those in
need of God's Love, I am blessed that God keeps revealing His Gentle Love & constant  presence. I do not know what the New Year will entail, but I am trusting The One who does. I await new opportunities to serve, support, share, & soar in Jesus who gives me strength!

A Dear Sister-Friend shared some excerpts from her time of meditation.  I found it to be spot on-tenderly profound.  It was a share by Skip Moen's, Today's Word (TW).  The scripture reference
was Psalm 42:1-3. Mr. Moen talked about the bread, the diet, the food...Tears. The last few sentences of his piece was very real, Mr. Moen expressed:  "Life at the edge.That's where tears are our bread. That's where we almost give up-and where we almost touch The Divine. When all that is left of our faith is tears, then you are ready to seek the edge of living and find The God of empty places."  Again, 'spot on-tenderly profound'.  Maybe you're not there, perhaps never been there, if at all possible- never want to go there---but the place is real. I want The God of empty places to invade my space.
The tears cleanse, The Father covers, comforts, & calms.

A Good Watering

It is raining where I am- pouring, windy rain.  I find it quite soothing, but not if driving, not if you
don't have shelter, & probably not if you don't have rain attire. But, as you come in from the rain &  find safe covering from the showers- there is something peaceful-calming about your shelter. You slow down, you bring your thoughts inside to a comfortable, relaxing space. You find an inside interest, an overlooked project or task. You find a good book-maybe you spend a few extra minutes in The Good Book, you check on a friend, you gather your thoughts; there are many choices. It's the coming in from the rain-the pouring, windy rain- coming in from the outside; and you are thankful for the shelter- doesn't have to be extravagant, but you are thankful for the covering.
I've come to know a Covering, a Shelter like no other. I can always come in from the rain.

My Fireplace

This morning I woke up to a candle lit fireplace. A dear friend/mother of 15 (7 biological & 8 adopted from other countries) gave me 2 Fall (seasonal, scented )candles last Spring.  I have burnt  these candles on 4 or 5 different occasions - 2 separate times they have burned all night in  my fireplace. I'm reminded of the burning passion God has for me & for ALL His children. His loved burned all night for me a long time ago. It is a life time candle that has the promise of burning within me right into eternity. I am thankful that His Light burns longer, brighter, burns in isolation, utter darkness, uncertainty, when we feel forgotten, abandoned, abused, grief stricken...; even when we feel undeserving of The Light and His Love. If  we light the CANDLE OF HOPE, PRAYER, FAITH---THE LIGHT will comfort us in our place of discomfort, difficulty, & uncertainty.  If you are in that place, or know of someone that is in that place---STRIKE THE MATCH! And be ready for your fireplace-heart space to be illuminated by GRACE.

I'm thinking,  it is probably best not to  write when emotions are running, but I am usually writing when I am feeling something.  So perhaps it is okay to write when I am needing Peace, spirits to be lifted, & my heart to be hugged. I can't seem to find the words, can't put them into place. So I had to go to the Word bright & early because the feelings were growling like an empty tummy.  I can't quite articulate it- maybe it's a little like when you're head of heels in love, or greatly expecting something special.  I guess it is a combination of such emotions, but  only totally opposite.  So I have to rely on the Word;" PEACE I LEAVE YOU, PEACE I GIVE YOU."  John 14:27,  "MAY THE LORD OF PEACE HIMSELF GIVE YOU PEACE AT ALL TIMES AND IN EVERY WAY." 2 Thess 3:16, "TRUST GOD FROM THE BOTTOM OF YOUR HEART ...LISTEN FOR GOD IN EVERYTHING YOU DO, EVERYWHERE YOU GO; HE'S THE ONE WHO WILL KEEP YOU ON TRACK." Proverbs 3:5-6,  "GIVE ALL YOUR WORRIES AND CARES TO GOD." 1Peter 5:7,  I HAVE TOLD YOU THESE THINGS, SO THAT YOU MAY HAVE PEACE." John 16:33
I have to hold so tight to this, like I haven't had a meal in weeks and someone left a plate of food sitting there for the taking. This morning I came across my teenage son's youth group paper. It was Word up- Word loaded.  I took that plate, and I begin to eat what was left sitting there for me.  I took his left overs, but  I know there are absolutely no leftovers in the Word of God. God's Word  remains fresh, life giving, thirst quenching, satisfying, nurturing, specific, individually prepared  with all the nutritional needs for the deprived heart- for the hungry appetite. Thank God there is food we when feel like we're starving. Feel me up LORD. God feel me up with more of You.

KEEP DISCOVERING
Maybe I am writing this to myself, maybe it is my charge-but if you find something here for you, please grab a napkin and take what you need.  ~Blessings, Pamela

BE ALL THAT YOU CAN BE! KEEP DISCOVERING hidden roads in your life - secret places in your heart. Speak what you don't feel, claim what's not yet in your possession, say 'Thank You' for what you have not yet received. GIVE THANKS FOR NEWNESS & then start looking ahead for opportunities, for creativity, skills, & favor. Look deep within for hidden treasures of your past, look for jewels at the bottom of your heart space, misplaced ideas in the closed dresser draw of your mind, life giving energy from a flowing fountain in your spirit. The Creator Of The Universe, IS KISSING His creation (you & me) with fresh ingredients, renewed focus, that will water our heart with delicate delights that we've never tasted, felt, or experienced before. Let's share that sweet outpouring with those we love, friends we spend time with, strangers we encounter, even those we don't feel are worthy of our time---surprise them with kindness.  As we find an ease and comfort with these fresh, God given ingredients and focus- we find that the KISSING has blossomed to a courtship, and the courtship is leading to a long and lasting relationship that was always meant to be.  WE WERE CREATED FOR LOVE by LOVE.

Can you recall riding on an isolated road at night or in the wee morning? Can you remember how
that experience felt- especially if you were uncertain of your location or how to get to your
destination. Were you  a little tense, perhaps you found yourself gripping the steering wheel
tightly. Were you checking  to see if anything looked familiar, or if there were  any other vehicles travelling on the same road.  It's something about riding on a dark, country road or a long stretch of highway alone.  Do you turn  on your high beams?  Are you watching for unusual problems-hazards?
Do you long to see something that feels familiar--safe?  Do you hope another vehicle or two will pass by?  Do you avoid looking into the headlights of approaching traffic?  Do you wonder where the other driver is heading?   The whole experience can be unnerving, uncomfortable, and sometimes a little frightening.
I was on a road like that recently.  I told myself stay calm, keep your eyes on the road, focus on the road, think about where you're going.  I reminded myself, that I had let others know  where I was heading- just in case.  I prayed the GPS was sending me the correct way.   And then my thoughts reflected on life situations.  That  we can find ourselves in very dark places, going through challenges we never imagined, feeling isolated, travelling certain roads looking for companionship.
   I begin to reflect on the Creator; that He knows where we are.  He is the ultimate GPS. He knows if there is danger ahead, things that will cause us great harm or pain, things we might need to avoid.   If we are open to hear Him; He reminds us to stay focused on Him, don't take our eyes off Him, don't look into the headlights of oncoming difficulty, don't be blinded or overwhelmed by life altering high beams. And if we do, He will guide us through.
 I have felt His assurance - comfort when moments have seemed so dark.  I have also witnessed that if I keep going there will be others to help make the road less lonely. As  I drove,  I thought that even if I can't see too far- I can turn on my headlights granting a longer view of the road-I can press into The One who knows me,and can help me feel safe in the darkness- protected in the darkness.
 If you keep living you are likely to experience some  dark roads. long lonely highways- lack of direction, hope, loss of... I hope that you will find strength and guidance  from the One who walked a long, hard, dusty road carrying some heavy stuff,  so that we could travel with the Ultimate Navigator--  TOWARD A BEAUTIFUL, PREDETERMINED  DESTINATION.

Refreshing water came this morning-- I took a cool drink of Mercy before leaving the house, and before noon I experienced a pleasant surprise.  As I prepared to teach a 60 minute exercise class, a beautiful soul came in to join the group. She was accompanied by her  daughter, who  shared that  her mother, who  was 102, wanted to try and see what she could do. My mind said mid 80's, but would never have guessed 102.  I thought - life has been good to her and to you. The daughter stood off to the side occasionally encouraging her mother.  At the end of our time together, I took her hands and asked if  I could kiss her cheek.  I had to kiss both for I was certain there was wisdom & strength underneath that tender skin. She shared that she enjoyed the class, and that she could do more once she got her new glasses and could see and follow along better.  As I held her hands I wanted to ask--can I follow you for a little while so I can see better. I wanted some of what she had, I thought now there is open history book.  I look forward to her coming back to class---my spirit wants to read some of the pages of perseverance and chapters of resilience. We talked only a short while, but in that brief meeting I knew that  her 102 years had probably been refreshed by a lot of glasses of Mercy in her life.

I'm trying to find words, trying to walk out this moment, but sometimes we just let the tears fall.
Cleansing, releasing, story- filled tears.  They remind us that we love, miss, and yet hope.Sometimes
it's just good to empty our self,  necessary to empty our self, release it. We embrace the
moment. We empty what hurts, we empty the missing, we empty the quietness of our thoughts, we empty the stinging of our heart. Maybe, just  as a beautiful crystal jar when left in the rain is filled with water---  my heart,  your heart will be filled with Life Giving Water; Pure Life Giving Water that will replenish our spirit, heal the hurt, fill the emptiness, redirect our thoughts, and soothe and regulate our heart. Perhaps there is beauty in the refilling. Certainly, there is no shame in the tears- even Jesus wept.

Sometimes IT'S A FIGHT!  When we feel like we have no fight left in us---WE GET UP, WE STEP in the ring. We sometimes take hard blows, but we keep punching.  Life often presents some of its strongest opponents suddenly & unannounced.  Sometimes they knock us off our feet, we are dazed, disoriented---but there are people cheering for us, hoping for us.  The ring is teaching us some stuff.  We must remember the Referee is in the ring with us, the Trainer is in our corner. The Trainer has studied the opponent-He knows his tactics, but He also knows us well.  With each fight, we build trust with the Trainer. So we keep our chin up, we get back up, WE STAND toe to toe with the opponent (pain, loss, heartache, misfortune, missed opportunities, guilt, regrets, mistakes..._______ and WE FIGHT! <Thursday 10/1/15>